Gay Girl Geek

I'm so disappointed in people.

If you haven't heard, I fell for another nerdy computer science guy. He's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, so of course, when I went home this weekend, I was gushing about him.

My mom was happy for me. Her friend Donna? Not so much. Her first question? "Is he black?" No. He's not black. But why the hell does that matter?

It's no secret that my last boyfriend was black. And it's no secret that our relationship wasn't meant to be. But let's leave him being black out of it, shall we?

I expect this sort of thing from my aunt. I've even learned to stomach it from her, as difficult as that may be, for the sake of my relationship with her. I don't have to stomach it from Donna. Who I date, what gender they are, and what color their skin is is even less of Donna's business than it is my aunt's. And trust me, it's none of my aunt's either.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. This is the woman who still can't deal with the fact that her daughter is a lesbian. She refers to Janet's girlfriend by first name only. Never anything to indicate that the two of them are more than just friends. Even though they've been together as long as I've known them.

It just... pisses me off. In a day and age where we've finally elected a black president, why is it not OK for a white girl to date a black guy, or a black girl for that matter? This is America. We're supposed to be the land of the free. But how can we be free if society still tells us who it is and isn't OK to fall in love with and marry based solely on gender or skin color?

I'm so upset about proposition 8 in California. One of my friends said recently that she was hoping that people's common decency would win out. I guess I was hoping the same thing, but I should have known better. Common decency isn't so common when it comes to these sorts of issues, I guess.

I'm constantly amazed at how divisive this issue really is. And how moronic the arguments against it are. Because basically, the argument always comes back to this: How does it hurt you, as a straight couple, when two gay people get married? How does it hurt society? It doesn't, and all the arguments that it does are complete and utter rubbish.

I'm just so disappointed. I wanted to see some respect and decency come out of this election. I wanted to see an affirmation that our nation is wising up, and opening up their hearts and minds. Instead, I saw only that we have a deeply divided country. I saw a religious right that will say anything it has to to convince people that their views and only their views are the correct ones. And it sickens me.

I have hope. This won't be the end, and I think Barack's win will be a big step in pushing this nation in where it needs to go. But I don't think he can work miracles. Real change takes time. We're certainly not gonna see legalized, widely accepted gay marriage in Barack's presidency. But it's going to happen.

And when it does, I'm gonna have a lot of weddings to go to.